


5 Times Spock Attempted Romance and Failed Miserably and the One Time He Got It Right

by pmastamonkmonk



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-25 00:47:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2602406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pmastamonkmonk/pseuds/pmastamonkmonk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock got points for trying, really he did...</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Times Spock Attempted Romance and Failed Miserably and the One Time He Got It Right

**Author's Note:**

> For the [K/S Valentine Calendar 2011](http://community.livejournal.com/ksvalentine/) _Jim knows Spock finds Terran holidays illogical so he is not expecting anything for their first year Valentines together and forgets about. Spock surprises Jim and does something big (Well big for Spock) but does it just a little off. Ex: Spock decorates with paper hearts that are anatomically correct or Spock gives him a plain card that just says something like "best wishes on the Terran holiday of Saint Valentine. I am available for sexual activities after my shift." Or he covers the captain’s chair in roses before Jim reports for duty but doesn't de-thorn them. Jim can't but be all soft about that silly Vulcan and his trying because it is just so cute. (OP = melooza )_

1-

Jim had been in a romantic relationship with Spock for almost eight months by the time Valentine’s Day reared its head upon the Enterprise. With a little under a week until the day, the number of couples strolling hand in hand down the halls increased, as did the sanctioned decorations strung up where everyone could see. Showers of balloons, sprays of flowers, and the shimmer of heart shaped confetti covered almost every area of the ship, save for select parts of Engineering and the Bridge.

When Spock had inquired as to the purpose of the holiday, Jim did the best he could to explain the history and meaning. Spock’s eyebrow had steadily climbed up his forehead with every passing explanation before dutifully returning his attention to the PADD in his hands and restating that his opinion of Terran festivities was that they were illogical and, in this case, made less sense than usual.

While Jim had been hoping to spend a romantic Valentine’s Day with his boyfriend, he’d long since accepted Spock’s reluctance for such frivolities – Christmas had been an uphill battle and he just didn’t have the strength to argue for such a simple day just two months later. No, no celebrations for them, just a quiet dinner in the mess hall and perhaps a bit more sex than usual. 

So caught up in his thoughts, he almost stepped on the folder in front of his quarters. Tilting his head in confusion, the young captain reached down and picked it up, keying the code for entry as he flipped it open. Inside were numerous hearts cut out of construction paper. 

Anatomically correct hearts. Carefully colored and dusted with glitter and all the accoutrements of normal valentines. There were at least a dozen, and in writing he recognized to be Christine Chapel’s were the normal words you’d find on the chalky candies common around this time of year. “Be Mine”, “Kiss Me”, “I Love U”, all the silly, stupid little nuances, though on one was written in careful Vulcan. He couldn’t translate it, but he’d know that hand writing anywhere.

He didn’t say anything when Spock returned to their shared quarters a few hours later from the science labs, small patches of glitter on his pants and cuffs where the Vulcan would not have been able to see them. Spock didn’t bring the valentines up, and neither did he, though he did proudly display them on his desk.

 

2-

Two days later and still he’d heard nothing from Spock on the valentines and, respecting his boyfriend’s privacy and penchant for badly hidden embarrassment and hiding when his emotions were called out, he kept quiet as well. He rose as Spock was leaving the shower, gave him a kiss as he went off to the labs before shift, and continued with his morning ritual before making his way to the bridge.

As the door opened he could heard the conversation hush, coupled with shushing noises from a few of the higher ranked crewmen. He allowed his eyebrow to rise in a mirror of his boyfriend’s as he made his way to the captain’s chair, only to find it covered in roses.

He could hear Chekov giggling and Sulu telling him to be quiet. Uhura had her best poker face on, though Scotty, who stood next to her, was shaking with badly contained laughter, and Spock dutifully kept his back to the scene. Kirk shook his head slightly, allowing a chuckle to pass his lips. “And here I thought we agreed not to decorate the bridge, hmm?” he turned and began to sit down. “Knew none of you could resist me, who’re they fr- OW!” he sprang up, pawing at his backside in an attempt to remove the roses sticking into his skin. He plucked one up, rubbing his wounded posterior and inspecting the roses. “They still have their _thorns_ ,”

The bridge burst into raucous laughter, Scotty bent over and clutching his stomach. Spock, who had kept quiet and attentive to his station, turned with a frown and a barely noticeable creasing of his brows. “Keptin, are you alright?” Chekov asked between giggles, wiping a tear from the corner of his eyes.

“Fine, Chekov… just going to go have Bones patch me up. Spock, you’ve got the conn.”

“….yes, Captain.”

 

3-

As Bones got over his giggle fit, passing the dermal regenerator over the thorny pin pricks on Jim’s hind end, he couldn’t help but give a snide remark. “And here I thought you _wanted_ the hobgoblin to celebrate with you?”

“Yeah,” Jim grumbled. “And the first thing was cute,”

“What’d he do?” running a hand over the skin to make sure it was healed, he gave Jim’s lower back a pat to let him know he could stand up. 

Pulling his trousers back into place, Jim sighed. “He made me some valentines,”

“Really now?” Bone’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I can’t believe that,”

“Well… he made them anatomically correct hearts,” Jim replied. “And Christine had to write the mushy shit on them, but he was the one to spread the glitter,” he shifted a little as Bones grinned. “And I mean, the roses were a romantic idea, and I know they’re not native to Vulcan so he must not have even thought to dethorn them, just spread them out as he got them,”

“Well he’s trying, that’s something,” making a note on his PADD, the doctor still couldn’t wipe the grin off his face or the shudder in his shoulders. “What do you think he’ll do next? Love to see how he handles chocolate,”

“Har har. I’d correct him, but I think he’s trying to be anonymous about it, you know, secret admirer shit? He didn’t even mention the valentines even though I’ve had them in the open for the past two days and his clothes were covered in glitter. He never puts his name, but he’s doing a really bad job of disguising himself… and I don’t want to embarrass him and make him stop doing stuff, it _is_ sweet.”

“Yeah, as long as you don’t get any more injuries than you already have,” Bones chuckled. “He at least knows your allergies so he won’t give you any fancy desserts that’ll put you out of commission, and the big day is the day after tomorrow, so there’s not too much time to get yourself killed.” He gave Jim’s shoulders a firm pat. “Good luck, kid, and enjoy it. Though you might want to change those trousers before you head back to the bridge, they look like Swiss cheese,”

Studiously _not_ pouting, Jim made his way out of sickbay, giving his friend a rude gesture over his shoulder. Unable to keep a grin off his face at the thought of Spock buying him roses, he was even more surprised when he opened the door to his quarters.

Sitting in the middle of the room was a gigantic stuffed animal. It looked almost like a bear, with a large red ribbon tied around its neck and plush brown fur, but the six-inch fangs told him it definitely wasn’t one. The thing had to be as big as he was, the tag hanging from its neck bearing the message of _“From your secret admirer”_ in a bad attempt by Spock to disguise his own handwriting.

Laughing at the sheer absurdity of the gift, he gave it a big hug, burying his smile in its fur. He had the best, most ridiculous boyfriend ever.

 

4 –

After a night of rather passionate sex, if Jim could be quite honest, he awoke to find himself alone in his quarters. The shower wasn’t running and a check of the chronometer showed he’d overslept by fifteen minutes, giving Spock enough time to slip away unnoticed. With a sigh, he sat up, running a hand through his hair.

Again, no mention of the gifts, no sign that he wanted Jim to bring them up, and no hints as to what else lay before him. With one day until the “big day” he couldn’t help but wonder what Spock had planned… and if it would be as adorable off as his previous gifts. He, himself, had a gift tucked away in a hidden corner of their quarters that Spock would never look in, excited at the prospect of the other man’s face when he opened it.

For now, though, he needed a shower. Tossing his legs over the side of the bed, he sauntered over to the bathroom and let the door open, stopping as his eyes shot wide open at the lacy bit of fabric left hanging on the vanity.

Transparent red fabric lined in black satin ribbons obviously meant for a woman and meant for quick removal… and was that a thong hanging off the hanger inside? He blinked stupidly at it for a long moment, unable to comprehend that Spock – his Spock – had not only bought and handled such a thing, but thought to present it to him as a gift.

Unable to resist, he doubled over, dropping to the floor laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. Oh god, he _had_ to tell Bones about this one.

 

5 –

“So… we’ve got valentines, flowers, a… teddy sehlat, and now lingerie?” Bones said the last word with a bit of a lilt, tipping his drink towards Jim with a sly smile.

“ _Women’s_ lingerie,” Jim corrected. “Lacy and red and everything cliché about Valentine’s lingerie,”

Taking a sip of his bourbon, Bones couldn’t help but chuckle. “Seems to me,” he mused, “Spock looked up traditional gifts, not understanding that most of those are intended for women,” he grinned, shaking his head. “Can you even imagine what he went through to buy that thing? Can you imagine his face?” he laughed long and hard and Jim couldn’t resist the smile as he, too, chuckled at the thought.

“It just makes me wonder, y’know, what the next thing is gonna be? I mean, seriously, there are so many clichés to hit up and so many ways to get them wrong,”

“I’m surprised he’s kept up with it, and you say he really thinks you don’t know it’s him?”

“I doubt he doesn’t know, he’s just not saying anything and playing dumb. He’s got a plan…”

“Well, you’ve got paperwork, so you’d better ship off before you’re left doing it all _tomorrow_. I’m going to enjoy my evening with a nice book and wait this holiday out,”

Jim grinned, “Bones doesn’t have a Valentine? I know an ensign who’s been making eyes at yo~ou,” he broke into laughter at the flush creeping up his friend’s neck. “He’s _wery_ interested in being your _walentine_ , Dokter,”

“Go git workin! You’ve got a job to do, scram!”

Laughing boisterously, Jim made his way out into the hallway. He would never get sick of how thick Bones’ accent got when he was flustered, good thing both of them had the majority of the day off for _Walentine’s_ Day, otherwise he wouldn’t forgive himself. Keying in the code to his room, he smirked, finding another package sitting on his desk, Spock nowhere to be seen.

Sitting down before it, Jim picked up the box with a grin. Packaged in black paper with embossed hearts and a wide red ribbon, it was almost too pretty to unwrap. Casting a glance to Spock’s desk out of the corner of his eye, he tugged the ribbon free, wondering just what was inside.

Schooling his expression in preparation for another silly gift, he removed the top of the revealed box, beginning to chuckle. An assortment of candy, though most of it meant for other holidays including marshmallow peeps in the shapes of chicks, candy canes, candy corn, and a plethora of generic chocolates he loved all surrounding a box which, if the label was to be correct, a candy g-string.

There was a note, as well. _“I acknowledge my error from yesterday, and deigned to correct with this substitute which also adds the requisite of candy. – Your secret admirer.”_

Jim tossed a candy corn into his mouth, shoulders shaking. 

He was so in love he couldn’t believe it.

 

+1-

The big day left most of the crew with half shifts and the single crewmen picking up the slack on a voluntary basis. Uhura left her early shift with Scotty in tow, the Scotsman holding out his elbow for her to take as he escorted her off the bridge, and Chekov, who had been half-assedly complaining of a headache immediately made for the sick bay. Sulu, with a bouquet in his hands, nodded his head to his superior officers before making his way to wherever he was headed leaving Spock and Jim to board the turbo lift alone in a companionable silence.

“So,” Jim began, “a game of chess tonight before dinner?”

“Agreeable,” Spock replied, his hands folded behind his back, their shoulders brushing.

“Take it easy on me, huh?” Jim chuckled as they strode out into the hallway, grinning broadly at the paper hearts and glitter everywhere. He felt lighter than air, awaiting Spock’s next surprise as well as his response to his own gift as the Vulcan keyed in the security code for their quarters. “How about you set up the board, I’m going to get out of this uniform,”

He took note of the way Spock’s eyes unfocused for a moment before inclining his head in agreement, making his way to where the board was usually kept, only to find a box in its place. “Jim, the board is missing,”

“Well then you should look for it,” came the response muffled by a shirt halfway over his head. 

He turned around to find Spock gently opening the box, which he’d made sure to write his name on in big, bold letters. Striding up behind him, Jim gently wrapped his arms around Spock’s torso, leaning up to rest his chin on the taller man’s shoulder. He felt more than heard Spock’s sharp intake of breath as he lifted the new chess board from the box. The surface of each platform was made of crystal, the squares carefully etched in and as Spock’s fingers brushed each of the hand carved pieces, he could feel his heartbeat racing.

“So… is it suitable?”

“Jim…” Spock had to swallow thickly to make his voice work again. “Where did you find this?”

Jim smiled into Spock’s neck, “A dealer on Risa. He specializes in Vulcan wares, talking him into letting go of one of the last chess sets made by T’Ral before the… incident wasn’t easy, but it was for you so I don’t mind,”

Spock’s eyes softened as he eyed the piece of his culture set before him. T’Ral had been an artist unmatched in her craft, praised for her acute detail and careful work. She had also been one of his cousins. “I do not know what to say…”

“White or black?” Jim murmured, not looking down at the board. He felt Spock put the piece he was holding back into the velvet lined box, allowing the other man to turn in his arms and kiss him passionately.

“Such a gift,” Spock breathed, “I feel as though mine may be inadequate,”

Jim let a mischievous sparkle into his eyes. “You got me a gift? I thought you found Valentine’s Day to be illogical,”

“It is never illogical to show my affection to my t’hy’la,” Spock rebuked. “And I did not get you one gift, I have been giving you gifts for the past few days,”

“Really? That was you?” Jim felt he couldn’t make his sarcasm any more obvious and Spock gave him a slight pursing of the lips, his version of a pout. “I’m sorry, Spock, but it was kind of obvious who they were from… but I loved each and every one of them. Even the prickly one,”

Spock touched a kiss to Jim’s forehead before reaching into his pocket and producing a smaller box. “On Vulcan, we bond as children to another in preparation of our future. Less than a marriage, more than a betrothal… though I had set that aside long before my bondmate was lost,” he explained, staring at the box in contemplation. “There is a bond many seek and few ever find, the closest approximation I can find in standard would be a ‘soul mate’, the other half to one’s whole, a sacred bond. I had not thought it truly existed,” there was a pause as Spock’s eyes rose to Jim’s, “until I met you,”

Jim felt a lump form in his throat, maintaining eye contact despite the prickle of tears he felt.

“Jim Kirk, t’hy’la, I ask now if you would bond to me as has been done since the time of the beginning,” 

The box opened, revealing a silver band, simple with three stones placed on the surface of one side. A sapphire, he recognized easily from earth, a green stone he recognized from many of the ceremonial weapons Spock had in their quarters, and one that seemed to meld the two colors together. Earth and Vulcan meeting seamlessly, the way they had.

“Spock, are you… do you mean…” he fumbled with his words, staring at the ring in shock. 

“I believe the terran approximation would be…” his eyes rose to see Spock’s lips curve into a smile, “will you marry me?”

Jim lurched forward, meeting Spock in an awkward not kiss that was more teeth than anything with the smile that burst to his lips. “Of course I will, you ridiculous Vulcan,” he could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks, pressing kiss after kiss to Spock’s lips. “I love you, I love you, you silly, outlandish,” he ranted off as many synonyms as he could, trying to find a word that explained just how he felt. 

Leave it to Spock to get the biggest gift just right.


End file.
